The Gay Porn Director Who Cried Wolf
Is Michael Lucas Really Dead?
Michael Lucas’ press team released a statement claiming that the well-known gay porn director was found dead in his Manhattan apartment last night. The statement included an artsy b&w photo of Lucas with a noose around his neck. In a final act of showmanship, it appears that Michael managed to check light levels and to offer up his good side only moments before expiring.
If Michael was reading this, he would probably say: “You don’t know what you are fucking talking about! All of my sides are my good sides.”
Neither Michael nor his employees have been available for comment since the announcement was made. Michael’s cell phone now goes straight to his voicemail.
Nate Johnson at AVN.com observed that crime scene photos don’t typically have porn logos emblazeoned on them. And also – detectives don’t usually pimp out crime scene photos before an investigation has begun.
But seriously – I hope Michael Lucas is alive and well. He’s one of the most talented porn directors of our time. He’s beautiful, unique, honest, and funny. He’s a shrewd and successful businessman. He’s a son, a lover, a friend, a boss, a proud Jew, a coworker, an advocate for healthy living, and an icon for fans around the world. He treats his employees and family with love and respect, and any sense of entitlement he has is the kind that we should all aspire to. He’s always worked hard and he refuses to settle for less than the best in life.
UPDATE:
The press release has been retracted and it’s been confirmed as a PR hoax.
