Archive for the 'Humor' Category

26
Aug

Randy Blue’s That 70s Gay Porn Movie, Part 2

gay-70s-porn-movie

frat-boy-underwear-suck

frat-fuck-on-couch

70s-gay-porn-orgy

Like a classic 1970’s TV show two-part episode, the thrilling conclusion to That 70s Gay Porn Movie picks up where part one left off.  The cock sucking, mouth stuffing, dildo ramming has ended, but the boys at Delta Lota Kappa (DIK) are hardly done with their plan for sexual sabotage.  In this scene, the action slow down a bit—but that doesn’t mean there isn’t any fucking left in them.  Wooky took a pledge pounding in the first half, but now he’s horned up and takes revenge on Skip.  The tables are turned as Wooky tops Skip in a scene that who turns out to be too hot for the polyester wardrobe.  That’s never a problem, the clothes simply come off and the action resumes.

Before long, the twosome becomes a foursome as the rest of the pledges return from their pledge tasks.  Eventually, the rest of this hardcore Randy Blue cast is going strong in what can only be described as an all out orgy fuck fest with the frat members wearing only multicolored stripe tube socks and headbands and a couple of togas here and there.  Indeed, a flashback to the ‘70s doesn’t diminish the pleasure of a timeless fuck fest.

13
Mar

Margaret Cho Meets the Parents: Can a Bi-Punk Comic Girrrrl Go Home?

Margaret Cho Rides Big Mike’s Cock

We’ll see. “The Cho Show,” scheduled for broadcast this summer on VH-1 is Margaret Cho’s new reality show … and her family.

According to a well placed insider, for the upcoming six week shoot, Cho, spends quality time with her finger wagging parents. (Oh, yeeeeeah … kinda like a recycled version of her 1994 ABC sitcom, American Girl, about a Korean girl and her family.)

The famous imitation Cho does of her stern Korean mom? It’s based on a real person! But what we’re looking forward to the break down moment where her mom pulls a Korean Gypsy, voicing her “disappointment” with Margaret’s success. Apparently, Mama Cho would have preferred Margaret become a Dr. Margaret Cho or Margaret Cho, esq.. (vs. about everybody’s favorite fag hag.)

So we weren’t exactly surprised when our source told us about a scene featuring Margaret reportedly sitting with a member of her gay Entourage, swilling champagne and belching, “I can’t believe we’re drinking champagne and not taking Xanax.”

Xanax? Girl, what about the KimChi?

11
Mar

Spitzer Sex Worker Sex Scandal: I quit

 

The Governor announced his resignation today, citing “personal failings.” The fallout? First up is, author Tracy Quan (“Diary of a Manhatten Call Girl”) who writes in today’s NY Times, “As a former sex worker, I’m puzzled by what is reported to be Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s preference for the riskiest form of indoor prostitution I have ever experienced. Escort agencies are constantly being investigated, infiltrated and spied on.”

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer Shows His Size

Cybersocket headquarters is buzzing with chat about Eliot Spitzer’s sex worker sex scandel. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, Spitzer, New York’s Governor, has been accused of “participating” in a prostition ring. When we first heard this, we thought he’d been running a ring.

Oh no. Much worse than that! Spitzer was a client. According to yesterday’s NYTimes, an FBI investigation revealed that Spitzer a.k.a., Client 9, had been buying expensive, D.C. pussy (for prices of hot snatch check out new york mag’s ’05 article about how jason itzler pimped natalia, “The $2,000 Hour Woman”) from the Emperor’s Club.

what two grand gets you

Price being everything, two grand (the Emperor’s Club rate for first class snatch), is how Spitzer got caught. As the New York Times reports, “The IRS became interested in some strange transfers of several thousand dollars from the governor’s account and began an inquiry looking for “bribery, corruption or illicit campaign financing.” That’s when they discovered the prostitution link and Spitzer’s efforts to cover his tracks.”

Now, Spitzer’s been given forty-eight hours to quit or face impeachment. We wondered why — when the Republican Party are fending off a sex scandel seemingly every other month: from so called closet case, Sentaor Larry Craig (for tearoom tapping, Senator David Vitter ( for hiring escorts) and Rep Mark Foley (sex with teenage boys) — they feel comfortable holding themselves to another standard (the three Washington politicians remain in office.)

And then there’s hooker lovin’ hypocrites who hail from megachurches. Who can forget family value preachers, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker and Ted Haggard? (Check out Deborah Soloman’s New York Times Magazine interview with Mike Jones, the male escort who blew the whistle on Ted Haggard, the Celebrity Preacher. “These men were coming to me with really big emotional issues, and I was comforting them.”

Carol Leigh a.k.a. Scarlot Harlot

“My real take is that this is happening when there’s a Federal bill, (HR 3887) aimed to federalize certain prostitution crimes and place them within the jurisdiction of the FBI.,” says Carol Leigh (a.k.a. Scarlot Harlot, a San Francisco activist who coined the term “sex worker”). “It’s not really news that politicians use hookers but that they’re trying to federalize prostitution crimes. It’s just that these kind of crimes are more interesting to the general public.”

“The shame and threat of exposure creates an atmosphere of danger which becomes part of the sexual high,” Leigh explains. “This phenomena is one of the ingredients of escalating repression. When a law goes against our natural desire for consensual sex part of the result is a risk taking compulsion. The client-politicians (and all the sexually conflicted politicians) feel a need to pass stricter and stricter legislation to mask their needs.”

We asked Leigh what she predicts will happen to the Emperor’s Club sex worker: “Nothing. If she’s smart she can get some moiney for a good interview.”

Rentboy.com’s Brandon Baker disagrees. “She’ll definitely be in trouble. They have to make an example of her.”

When will it end? “Historically,” says Leigh, “the spiral can be interrupted by a national disaster, war or a trip by Brittany Spears to rehab.”

06
Apr

Who knew?!? Fascinating Gay and Straight Sex Facts

Fascinating Sex Facts from GayPornucopia.com!

It’s friday, so give yourself a little break and check out these fascinating gay and straight sexual facts! After all, what you don’t know may amuse you – so read on!

  • The average amount of male ejaculate is about 1 tablespoon, or 10cc, which is how the bands 10cc and Lovin’ Spoonful got their names.
  • The bedroom is the room in which most people tell a lie.
  • In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
  • Americans spend more money on peep shows and strip clubs then all forms of legitimate theater, Broadway, classical music, opera, and jazz combined.
  • City dwellers have almost twice as many sexual partners as rural residents. They are also twice as likely to cheat or visit a hooker.
  • According to a 1996 study, men from NY produce the highest rate of sperm in america. Men from LA produce the least.
  • Former Cuban President Batista spoke out against the growing scourge of American and European pornography, arguing that it took business away from local prostitutes.
  • According to a 1996 study, homophobic men show a higher arousal rate when shown gay porn then do men with ambivelent attitudes toward homosexuality.
  • One study states that 70 percent of married men and women masturbate.
  • The average male member in all its glory is 6 inches long and 5 inches in circumference.
  • Hustler publisher Larry Flynt claims his first sexual experience was with a chicken.
  • White women get 97% of boob jobs.
  • A man’s sticky starch contains protein and trace minerals, and only 15-25 calories per serving.
  • Texas law makes it illegal for a woman to own more then 6 sex toys.
  • A father and son are most often identical in the size of their wedding tackle.
  • Oral sex is illegal in Arizona, Florida, Minnesota, Louisiana, parts of Michigan, North Carolina, South Carolina, Utah, and Virginia. In Idaho, it can get you life in prison.
  • One in 3 men cheats on his partner, as opposed to 1 in 4 women.
  • Vigorous sex burns between 100 and 200 calories.
  • The vast majority of men cum within six mintues of penetration.
  • JFK lost his virginity to a $3 hooker.
  • Sex with a woman is the third most common fantasy for gay men.
  • The biggest wang on record is 12 inches, erect.
  • Most men who see prostitutes are married.
  • Angela Lansbury’s 13-year-old daughter spent a summer traveling(with mom’s permission) with Charles Manson and his “family,” and lost her virginity to him.
  • The first known sex film was made in 1894 – just six years after the creation of motion pictures. Porn was illegal until the early 1970s, but you can find antique porn on video compilations like “What Got Grandpa Hot.”
  • The age of consent in the USA is primarily split between 16 and 18 years old. However, in liberal Hawaii, 14 year olds are allowed to have sex as adults.
  • More then 70% of men who make $60,000 or more per year cheat; only 16% of those making $5,000 or less are unfaithful.
  • J. Edgar Hoover, Oscar Wilde, Chief Crazy Horse, Pope Paul II and Pope Julius III, Leonard Bernstein, Alexander the Great, Sigmund Freud, Lawerence of Arabia, Plato, Peter Tchaikovsky and Florence Nightingale were all gay or bi.
  • Gay men rate higher then straight men in dissatisfaction with the size of their sexual organ.
  • Gay men buy 10 times more CDs then straight men.
  • Science has proof of men who are barely half an inch when fully extended.
  • A condom will last about a month in a wallet before the rubber gets worn down by friction, making it more likely to break.
  • Cross dressing ’50s TV comic Milton Berle is considered one of the best-hung stars in showbiz history. Jason Priestly, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Matt Dillon, Marlon Brando, and Charlie Chaplin are other rumored members of Hollywood’s long shlong club.
  • The record for male orgasms is 16 in one hour.
  • A top porn star can earn $20,000 a week dancing at strip clubs.
  • Andy Warhol claimed to have encountered a man who was blessed with 2 members; the producers of Caligula claim their similar double-donged orgy jockey was also the real thing.
  • Jews and Atheists have more sex partners then Catholics and Protestants.
  • 30% of men suffer from premature ejaculation.
  • Almost half of all adults urinate a bit during sex.
  • During much of the 20th century, electroshock, radiation, castration, and even lobotomy were common medical “treatments” for homosexuality. One doctor, Walter J. Freeman, would lobotomize gays and lesbians at public events, as many as 25 a day, often with an unsterilized ice pick.
  • In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
  • In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
  • The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
  • There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry!
  • Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England – but only in tropical fish stores.
  • In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
  • In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
  • Fascinating Sex Facts from GayPornucopia.com!




     

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